The Big ‘Uh Oh:’ My Journey Through Postpartum Preeclampsia

“Fighting for my life in a hospital bed was not part of my birthing plan.”

Sexually speaking, I’ve been bored. Bored by all the softboys disguised as loverboys on my roster (all carbon copies of either Barry Keoghan or Jacob Elordi). Bored by the lack of originality plaguing recent sex-toy launches (all vaguely phallic, sleek). Bored by my tried-and-true self-pleasure techniques (supine, wand in hand). So, since the most recent ball drop, I’ve been waiting, hoping, and praying that 2024 would bring me something or someone to surprise me. And with its arrival on my doorstep on a bleary January evening, the Unbound Squish ($66) has done just that.

This pleasure product has now been in my rowdy rotation for the last few weeks, and I can confirm that it hasn’t just re-ignited my hope for the pleasure industry as a whole, it’s also reinvigorated my solo sex game. Further, while this toy on its own isn’t responsible for leveling up my line-up of lovers, I have enjoyed using it with my very own babygirl-esque short king.

Unbound Squish — $66.00

The Squish from Unbound is a uniquely-shaped external vibrator that is optimally designed for clitoral stimulation, as well as for teasing of the vaginal opening, base of a penis, and other erogenous zones. It is made entirely from medical-grade, body-safe silicone and can be controlled either by intuitive buttons, or through a unique, responsive squeeze setting.

Size: 2.4 x 2.9 x 0.9 inches
Material: 100-percent silicone
Battery life: Up to 2.5 hours
Charge time: 2 hours

Pros:

Waterproof
Fun, playful shape
Possible to use for external play (which is great for anyone who experiences pain with penetration)
Quiet enough to use without detection
Six different vibration modes
Rechargeable function
Low price

Cons:

Learning curve to figure out how to use
Not safe for anal penetration

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My first impression of Unbound Squish

When I removed the Unbound Squish from the square encasement it comes packaged in, I was struck by how non-phallic it looks. Indeed, while most pleasure products look like smoothed-up, sanded-down penises, Squish looks like the lovechild of the Taj Mahal and Pokemon’s Squirtle.

While the toy is available in a pink colorwave as well, I bought the teal option that is remarkably similar to the skin tone of said animated turtle. Don’t get me wrong: As a bisexual, I’m a genital equal opportunist. So sometimes an anatomically-inspired sex toy is exactly what the doctor (my downstairs) ordered. But other times, I want something a little less loaded—and as soon as I got my paws and peepers on Squish, I knew it’d be perfect for those more playful instances.

It isn’t just its overall look that sets it apart from other pleasure products on the market, it’s the feel, too. Simply grazing my finger over Squish’s silicone sheath revealed it’s just as silky as any other medical-grade, silicone sex toy. But squeezing the toy will uncover a new sensation—the one responsible for its namesake. Rather than being dense throughout, Squish is internally aerated, which means when I pinched its two sides together, the silicone membrane became indented by my fingers. Turns out, that’s because Squish contains two distinct “air chambers,” one on each side of its cylindrical body.

On the inside, separating these two squishy edges is a compartment that houses the motor responsible for making this buzzy buddy vibrate. This hardened, middle section is much denser to the touch than the squish it’s sandwiched between. It’s as hard as the head on most wand vibrators, such as the Magic Wand. So while I don’t personally enjoy a ton of pressure against my vulva, I could tell from touch that this textural differential is great for individuals who like to oscillate back and forth between different pressures.

There is one really stand-out feature of the Unbound Squish

You don’t have to be a professional sex toy reviewer like myself (hi) to discern that all the aforementioned features (aerated compartments, varied densities, silky soft outer, cartoonish shape) of Squish make it pretty darn unique. But we haven’t even covered its most innovative feature yet. Ready? Squish is a responsive vibrator.

“The vibrator has an internal mechanism that uses air pressure sensors that allow you to control the vibration strength by squeezing (or squishing) the product,” explains Polly Rodriguez, co-founder of Unbound. That means that when the toy is set to haptic mode, the intensity of the toy will be influenced by how much pressure you apply to it. Here, the harder you squeeze, the more intense the vibrations become.

The haptic feature can make the toy feel more intuitive, notes Rodriguez. You don’t have to feel around for buttons—or more disruptive, remove the toy from your hot-spot, to alter the intensity, then try to re-find that pleasure zone. “It can feel really good to use a product that you check in with your body and yourself, and modulate intensity as a result of that with a simple squeeze,” she says.

For individuals who prefer the old-fashioned way (read: buttons), there is a preset mode. When you select this option, you can shift through the six different modes (four intensities, two patterns) one at a time, by pressing the button with two parallel arrows on the side. (In this setting, the only way to lower the intensity, once it’s been increased, is to cycle fully through all options).

The fact that the intensity of the toy can be controlled by these two, distinct methods makes the toy accessible to people with different hand mobility and strength abilities.

My experience squirting and flirting with Squish

Given how promising my initial evaluation of Squish was and how desperate I was at the time for a little sexcitement, when I finally had the time to get down and dirty, I was revved.

I set myself and my new pleasure pal up for success by setting the mood (candles, The Weeknd, dog out of bedroom). Then, I put the toy in haptic mode, took out my go-to water-based lubricant (Coconu water-based), and got to business.

At the risk of sounding hyperbolic, I couldn’t believe how much FUN I had with this little cutie. The marriage of its shape and unique responsive technology came together to infuse my solo session with a sense of glee. And while “glee” isn’t code for “orgasm,” this toy certainly did allow me to find a few of those, too. The finial, tapered tip of the toy is hard (not airy), which I learned makes it optimal for providing pin-pointed stimulation against the specific spot on my clitoris that responds to touch.

Squish has also put the “play” in my partnered play a few times since I bought it. One time, I brought it into the bedroom with a particularly giggly, goonish crush of mine. When we used it to explore one another’s bodies, the lightheartedness felt akin to that which we felt a few hours prior when we played Giant Jenga. Just as we each goofy-grinned before pulling out one of the bulky blocks, we buzzed with anticipation as we moved Squish to a new erogenous zone. With each relocation, there was a, “Is this going to be the one that topples us over the edge?” feeling. When we eventually found one another’s topple (read: orgasm-inducing) spot, we each grinned and moaned in equal measure. Like I said, fun!

Should you try the Unbound Squish?

All in all, I believe that Squish deserves a spot in your sex toy rotation if you’re looking to add some fun to your foreplay or masturbation sessions. “Sex is one of the few places in our adult lives where play is actively encouraged,” says sex educator Claudia Vera. “The fact that Squish looks like an ice cream cone helps facilitate that.” I can vouch for that.

Squish can also be a great addition for anyone interested in a non-phallic pleasure product. “Many sex toys physically embody the genitalia that they are designed to mimic,” she says. Squish, on the contrary, does not. “It doesn’t scream, ‘I AM A SEX TOY, FOR SEX!!!’,” she says. Which is very true.

Obviously, no sex toy will appeal to everyone. But in a world where sexual shame and seriousness reign supreme, I think most can benefit from imbuing a little play into their solo and partnered sex lives. And as my and my lover’s sexperiences with the vibrator show, Unbound Squish can provide just that.